Yes, this is me. Smudgy mascara from not removing yesterday’s makeup, pjs still on and a bucket of coffee to boot!
How was your Easter weekend?
I’ve eaten far too much chocolate and naturally, indulged in a little too much wine.
Just after midnight, my poor little 8 year old woke up (in my bed) and yelled, “Mum! Mum! I think I’m going to be sick!” Dazed and confused I jumped up, switched on the dim wardrobe light (so not to wake the other children) and yelled “Well, run to the toilet! Quiiiiiiick!”
Now, if you know me personally, you’d understand my sleeping arrangements in my house differ somewhat from the ordinary. We have a king sized bed which normally hosts myself (husband, when he doesn’t have a 3am start) and one or two children. We also have a futon which pulls out to hold another child and a double air mattress for the remaining children.
When my husband has to work early, (like this morning) he normally commutes to the girls room so that he can get a solid few hours of shut eye in. (Perhaps, rather than “girls room” it could be better described as a storage room that is home to their toys and wardrobe. It is NOT a room in which they actually sleep. This goes for ALL my children!)
So, last night poor Tyler happened to be situated on the far right side of the bed, which meant he had to squeeze past the air mattress and shuffle between that and the futon to make his way to the bathroom.
Its difficult enough when you’re taking your time and it’s daylight, let alone, when you’re tired, it’s dark AND you’re rushing to make it the bathroom before…you…puke!
Think he made it? Ha.
He was just CENTIMTRES shy of the tiles and ended up producing a lovely thick blanket of chocolate vomit all over my white carpet. (Cheers, Easter bunny!)
Not to mention, on route to get to the spot on my white carpet just before the tiles, poor Tyler was desperately trying to hold it in as he hopped through the maze of sleeping obstacles which resulted in a few chocolate puke sprays and dribble all over the array of blankets and pillows, carpet and, potentially unknowingly, sleeping people. 🤷🏼♀️
At 1am, Poor Tyler stood, pale and exhausted in the bathroom, while I scrubbed and scrubbed the awful stain from my carpet with carpet cleaner and disinfectant. (Dry retching in the process.)
Ugh. Spew. I have THE worlds weakest stomach. The smell of vomit makes me gag. I struggle with nappy changes, cleaning toilets, changing my cats kitty litter, seeing maggots in the garbage. I’m not built for cleaning up gross things and yet, I’ve been doing it all non stop for years. Still, my skin doesn’t get thicker and my stomach fails to show any signs of getting stronger or becoming immune.
So here I am, second coffee for the day. Third load of washing on. Tyler woke up after a sleep in and had a bath. He seems to be perfectly fine now. I’m grateful it’s not a bug. Likely, it’s from consuming too much chocolate.. which brings me to my other issue;
In the past 3 weeks, I have consumed approximately 9 Cadbury chocolate bunnies.
It’s all catching up with me now. Ive been feeling sluggish, Ill and even, constipated 😭(TMI?) I haven’t exercised in weeks and I can’t recall the last time I ate something green!
This morning I decided to do an Epsom salt cleanse. Until recently, I didn’t even know you could drink them! I thought they were just for bathing in when you had sore muscles. Apparently not!
They taste awful though. In fact, I’d highly recommend continuing to use them purely for muscle soaking and not for drinking. For 40 minutes, me and my weak stomach sat there uncomfortable and sweating as though I’d just had a row of 10 tequila shots!
This afternoon I intend on going for a run. (Unless of course I’m on the toilet!) it’s time to get healthy and clean up my act. I’m putting myself on a chocolate ban, a serious alcohol “cut back” (oh come on! Baby steps!) and later, i intend on making my way to the shops… to purchase some broccoli.